Watch the whole talk here»
This guy stopped watching porn — and he wants you to know why. Gender activist Ran Gavrieli felt that most of the images he saw in porn encouraged negative, even violent, attitudes toward women, despite a recent wave of feminist porn. So he pulled the plug, and found that his personal sex life and private fantasies became much more fulfilling.
In his talk at TEDxJaffa, he advocates for physically and emotionally-safe sex, as well as erotica that shows a wider range of fulfilling sexual experiences — including the intimacy of human connection, laughter, and touch. Watch his talk here.
There are plenty of ex porn stars who have said pretty much the same based on their experiences in the industry, like Danielle “Queen B” Williams. Yet there are people in these notes behaving like this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about and is a sex negative asshole instead of someone who’s actually actively removing himself from contributing to an industry that overwhelmingly exploits women. He’s making the effort to stop funding and participating in sexploitation and human trafficking and people are behaving like he’s being a terrible human being.
I take the opposite viewpoint- think about all the porn stars who will starve because you aren’t creating enough demand for their product. If you start boycotting all the industries that exploit women, you’re going to have to start making your own soap, shampoo, toothpaste, clothes, underwear, cologne, perfume, movies, print your own magazines, basically- you’re going to live a very difficult life in this country. If you want to be like the vegetarian who thinks they’re sparing a chicken, go ahead- continue on, steadily, on your moral high horse; the vegetarian of sexuality. But exploitation? To what extent? That men are pigs? Yeah, okay- I’ll give you that one… but:
"The action or fact of treating someone unfairly in order to benefit from their work”
If she volunteers for it and she gets paid… how the fuck is that unfair?
Dear Echo 5 Charlie,
I’ve been a loyal follower of yours for a very long time. I have accepted your various opinions on a plethora of issues, however harshly or inappropriately expressed. Today I must humbly admit that I am truly heartbroken by your insensitivity and apparent ignorance. Of all the things you could take a stance on, it’s porn?
“That men are pigs? Yeah, okay- I’ll give you that one… but” There is no “but” to this statement. Firstly, it is simply false. Men are soldiers, fathers, care givers, leaders, and many, many other things. Some men are pigs, sure, and it’s this piggish behavior real men strive to snuff out of the mainstream.
I know quite a few porn stars. The argument made here is not against the women, their chosen careers, their choice to profit from sex or their bodies or anything like that. It’s what porn demands from these women. It’s the gradual build up from sex to other things. More sex acts, more partners, more physical abuse. It’s about the pressure that results from the type of porn being demanded from these ladies (and often times from the men, too). It’s about the producers of these films who tell these woman, “If you’re not willing to do it, I’ll find someone else who will.” These woman have a choice? -Sure! But only to a certain point if they want to continue to put food on the table.
I wish you were right. I wish it was the “porn stars” who were creating the product, content, the fantasy. I wish the majority of them had control over what sexual acts they perform. And I further wish it was simply the exploitation of women that was the issue here. Shit - we’re used to being exploited for having breasts and skin and beautiful curves!
Unfortunately, the issue here revolves around the demand for women to be physically abused, raped, choked, spat on, urinated on, gang banged, cum upon and other various forms of abuse in pornography. It’s not about the financial future of these women, it’s about what’s being demanded of them in order to satiate the desires of an entire generation of men who’ve been raised on the idea that women in porn are nothing more than a tool used to bring a man pleasure.
It is with this sincere note that I hit the “unfollow” button.